he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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