my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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