Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
