why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
