i jhust puked up my retainher.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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