went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize