great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
