Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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