I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
