I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Text me some of your sweat
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