but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
