Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
