I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
