i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
