If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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