talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
