Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
