she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
