I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Lo siento on account of my penis...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize