She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
