he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the liver wants what the liver wants
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
