She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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