"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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