My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
