She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize