Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
