FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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