Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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