so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
