wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize