There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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