Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Houston, we have a blender
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
