Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
