I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
