He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
