Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
