I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize