My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
