My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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