So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
