3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
