How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
