We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
