From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
