In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
