You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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