Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
