so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
