and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
