FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
