I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
