so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
