Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
