He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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