I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
