Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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