Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
