Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Still dying that you shit outside
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
