that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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