you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
