I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
