I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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