Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize