We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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