I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
