Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
